To blog or not to blog....

A compilation of the thoughts in my brain, the questions I have and the journey of life. Not meant to educate, but merely to entertain and (hopefully) initiate some good discussion. Comments are welcome...come join the conversation.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

1pm and my cup is 1/2 empty

For some reason, M&S are driving me nuts this week.  For the first time since school got out, I've actually started having moments where I look at the calendar and sigh...wondering how it is that there is still another MONTH left before school starts.  I've also had thoughts of moving back to Kentucky just so they can start earlier.  Okay, not really..there's not enough money in the world to get me back to Kentucky but the idea of school starting in a week is appealing.  :-)

I adore my children, I really do.  I love them so much that it often feels like there isn't enough room in my heart to contain all that I feel for them.  I want only the best for them and would give either of them a kidney (or other body part) if they needed it.  But.......

living with them these days is damned near impossible for many hours of the day.  They whine, they fight, they scream.  M cries CONSTANTLY and is super oversensitive to everything.  S is bossy and name calls.  Getting out the door to go anywhere is like assembling the troops for a full-fledged medieval battle.   They play so well together for stretches of time, but I find myself tense during that time because I know the next screaming/whining/crying outburst is only moments away.   My brain and nerves cannot handle it anymore.  I stay out of as many battles as I can, being a big believer that they need to work stuff out themselves, but the times I intervene, I do so because I can't stand it anymore.  

I tell them that every day I start out with a full cup of patience.  But that everytime they: don't listen, do the opposite of what I've said, make huge messes without cleaning up, waste, cry, plead, beg, whine, hit, name call, fight etc, that patience spills out drop by drop until we get to bed time and the cup is bone dry.  

I don't know if it's because the theme weeks have tapered off a bit (I was full steam ahead a few weeks ago and now I have plans with minimal desire to execute them) and they are bored.  I don't know if it's the monotony of being together all of the time or if they just need a change.   I don't know if I have changed and they are reacting to that.

Whatever it is, they're lucky that cup of patience refills every night while I sleep.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, my friend. I can relate on so many levels. I have those quiet moments too-when I, L, and N are nicely playing together. But I, too, am holding my breath, because I know the next screaming fit is only seconds away. I've also adopted a very "Lord of the Flies" attitude. If there is screaming and no blood, I tend to just ignore it.

    I signed up I for yet another camp at the RMSC next week, simply to give her something to do. There are way too many hours to fill during the summer months, and my patience is non-existent.